And madness ensued...

Good evening,

I have no topic to discuss tonight. No angry subject got me in a tizzy, no crazy sporting event got me all riled up. Just me, ready to rant with nothing to talk about. I've already left two messages on friends' phones. Both were long, both made little sense. And this, in all probability, will make less. I honestly have no topic of interest. The Democratic and Republican campaigns are basically news-less these days. Nothing interesting there until Ohio and Texas on March 4th. The NFL season is over, but I still can't believe the Giants are champs. Can you believe it T-Y and K? The NBA had its All-Star weekend, and no fireworks there. Unless you count Dwight Howard's fake dunk. I'm sorry, but it just wasn't a dunk. Yes, the Superman suit was funny. Yes, he got high up in the air. And yes, what he did was relatively impressive. Still, not a dunk. In order to dunk the ball you have to be able to touch the rim. In this case, he was not able to touch the rim. Back when me and my friends used to play basketball every day, we'd try to take off from far distances and dunk the ball and many times we'd end up doing something looking just like what Howard did. Wait, did I mention this was on an 8 foot rim? But if you figure that Howard is 7 feet tall and has a huge wingspan and you translate his height versus mine and his ten foot rim versus my eight foot rim and it's gotta be a similar situation. I could get my hand well above that 8 foot rim and would inevitably end up throwing the ball at the rim at the very last second, just like Howard did, and try to sell it to my friends as a dunk, just like Howard tried to sell it to the crowd. I'm sorry, my friends would not have fallen for that. I still can't believe all five judges did.

What next? Okay, how about movies? Everyone should see Gone, Baby Gone. Great movie. And am I the only person in America that was just annoyed at little Juno for that whole movie? Seriously, I just didn't like her. I hope she loses, big time. That's all for movies.

And now, a word about frogs. I'm not a big fan of frogs or anything, but I have nothing against them. I don't think they're gross, but I don't want one for a pet either. I didn't like when the sky rained with them in the movie Magnolia. I did, however, really enjoy a picture I saw of the craziest looking frog. True, anything that lived millions of years ago usually looks pretty insane compared to its contemporary counterpart, but this is a bit much, don't you think?

Now that's a "normal" frog there in the foreground, and that big fat beast in the background is its ancestor! They say it was the size of a bowling ball!!! Imagine walking through the forest and running into that thing? Then imagine it standing like eight feet away from you and having it lash its tongue in your direction, coming up just a few inches short. Now imagine, after his tongue is firmly back in place, him looking you right in the eye and saying, "C'mon, baby..." in a deep Southern voice. I bet you'd run faster than a guy with his dick on fire headed towards a waterfall. Great picture though, isn't it?

The quick vote on CNN.com tonight reads: "Britney Spears' parents in control: Is she on the road to recovery?" Seems newsworthy. What's your vote? You can punch it in while I take a moment to induce vomiting. Ahh, that's better.

In other news on CNN, Cher has committed to 200 live shows next year in Las Vegas. My God. She's 61. She will have 18 dancers on stage with her. She's going to have a new studio album coming out. And she looks like a CGI character from the movie Beowulf. If you're wondering why she's back....well, I'll let her tell you: "It's like an artist, it's like, when was it time for Picasso to stop painting? He had enough paintings, I'm sure, at a certain age. Why didn't he just stop? I guess because he really liked it, and it was some part of his life. You don't want to give up some part of your life that's that important." Cher and Picasso, two peas in a pod.

Okay, I'm really stretching here if I'm talking about Cher, so I'm gonna sign off before losing any more respect for myself. Truth be told, I just really wanted an excuse to post a picture of that crazy dino-frog. That's just nuts.

Big Tent Falling

What in the world is going on with the Republican party? Four years ago they were the "big tent party." You could hardly tune into a cable news show without a Republican Senator, Congressman, Governor or operative telling you that they take all kinds. That if the Democrats don't want this type of person, or that type of voter, the Republicans would happily welcome them in. "We're open and we're accepting all applicants." How things have changed. And in such a surreal way. Aside from Republicans losing control of Congress and President Bush just nosediving in all possible public confidence categories, there was still the assumption that the Republican party, the party of cohesion, organization and voter turnout, would get things together by '08 and bring forth a viable and formidable candidate. Then the candidates appeared for the first time, all twenty-seven of them. And of all the men that started out to get the nomination for the party, none seemed to fit the mold just right. Still, most thought that by the time things were widdled down to less than a handful of candidates, the party would rally behind the front-runner, choose a nominee early as they always do, and support that candidate to the hill. But here we are, the day after Super Tuesday and this has yet to happen. And it may never happen at all.

There have been grumblings that the far right does not like John McCain for quite some time. In fact, grumblings is a giant euphemism. There is a strong dislike that sometimes bubbles over into hatred for the man. He supports campaign finance reform. He didn't sign on to Bush's first few tax cuts (although he has signed on to all the rest and talks incessantly about making them permanent). He's soft on immigration. And last, but probably most infuriating and least likely to ever be forgotten, he bashed the Christian right eight years ago for being "agents of intolerance."

Who knew they'd never forget? But before we get to them, let's talk for a moment about right wing radio and their views on McCain. For people like Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, one would have thought that nothing was more important to them than the Republican party winning every election in every town and every state, every time. I always viewed them as crazy, but they were nothing if not party loyalists. Now, it's no secret that Limbaugh doesn't like McCain. He doesn't like each and every point where McCain has swayed from his party. So Limbaugh backing Romney and taking shots at McCain was really no surprise this election season. What has been unexpected is the level to which the right wing crazies are going to destroy McCain, and therefore their own party. Limbaugh openly dislikes McCain, but he hasn't said flat out that he wouldn't vote for him in a general election. He just won't vote. Ann Coulter, on the other hand, (who if you don't know is the tall, skinny, venom spewing blonde who is against all things left of center) has come out publicly and said that if McCain wins the nomination she'll vote for Hillary! Let me say that one more time: Ann Coulter will vote for Hillary Clinton!!! Don't these people care at all about the party they've been backing for... X number of decades? Maybe they only care about themselves and their totally narrow-minded views??? Or maybe, just maybe, they're being shown for the the people they are: opportunists who care only about the ratings their hate generates on talk radio and the profits their books make through outright lies. Money matters more than party. Limbaugh, Coulter; true colors: check.

But it's not just the talk show crazies. The Citizens United Political Victory Fund has bankrolled an ad in which a number of positions are shown on the screen in front of Hillary Clinton's face, but at the end her face moves left and you realize they've been talking about....John McCain? Hillary=McCain is the point they're trying to get across. McCain is a liberal, they're saying. My question, from a completely pragmatic point of view is this: Why now? Why a day after McCain took total control of the election by gaining the most delegates on Super Tuesday do you run an attack ad against him? If you're bashing your frontrunner, what possible good will this do for your party in November? Even with Mike Huckabee winning a few states last night, there's still no chance he gets the nomination, so what are you fighting for at this point if not to destroy your own party from within?

As for Huckabee, what he was able to do last night was largely the result of people who think it's more important to vote for a good Christian than a good potential president. And this brings me back to McCain "insulting" them back in 2000. They're willing to sacrifice the party as well, but they do it because they don't answer to party loyalty, they answer to a higher power. This portion of the electorate has brought many victories to the Republican side, but for the first time in 28 years, the Republican candidate for president is not going to be the one endorsed by the Christian Coalition. And they don't like it. So rather than be adults, rather than engage in the political process as it is, as opposed to the way they'd like it to be, rather than think about things in a rational, common sense manner, they have decided instead to show their true colors as radicals. These people aren't about family values and they never were. John McCain was right, they were always agents of intolerance. Intolerant of you, of me, of anyone who's not at their church every Sunday sharing exactly their views and exactly their God. They don't really care about the Republican party. They never have. All they care about is that every baby gets born and that gay people don't get any of them. They will burn the Republican party to save it, much the same as God was forced to destroy the Sodomites in the book of Genesis. Wonder if they were gay too or that's just a coincidence....? Moving on.

So what does this mean for the future? We'll have to wait and see. Wounds may well be slashed so deep between now and November that the Republican party may splinter completely. Or McCain may become president and push the interests of the Christian Coalition so far to the back burner that the last 20 years become an afterthought in American politics. Or a third party candidate may jump in the race, siphon votes from McCain and put Hillary or Obama in office, essentially out of spite. In a time of turmoil the Big Tent Party has turned on itself, stopped accepting applicants and starting looking out for number one. Burning the village to save it; sounds an awful lot like 'taking my ball and going home' to me.

Giants win the Super Bowl!!! Giants win the Super Bowl!!!

The Giants are Super Bowl Champions!!! As many of you were told last night, this can best be summed up with a resounding Holy F*cking Sh*t!!!!! Unbelievable. I mean, I just can't believe it. This is sweeter than beating the Broncos in '86, better than bouncing the Bills in '91. The 2007 Giants beat an undefeated team for the most shocking upset in New York Sports history! Now all those arrogant Pats fans have to sit on this for an entire year. Your year of history was stolen and the team that will be remembered from 2007 isn't the Pats, it's the Giants. THE GIANTS! GGGGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!!!!



The big one for the madman!

Lots of thank yous....

Play of the decade!

Aww....boo hoo

The guns!!!